Categories
Office Furniture

A Bright History Of Corruption

Hello and welcome back to the hometown rag, Sanbornians! Some of you have noticed that posting frequency has slimmed to a mere trickle in the past half year, and I am sad to say that there is no end in sight for that.

I am afraid, dear readers, that being a wandering poet and local reporter doesn’t pay quite as well as it used to. Shocking as it may be to those locals who regularly spit on the author of this piece, call him a bum, and laugh at his receding hairline, I’ve recently gotten a second job to help ends meet.

It just so happens that I found employment with one of Sanborn county’s oldest local establishments, the Sanborn Paper Mill. They are the company that turned the Sanborn valley, famous in the 19th century for its vast untouched forests, into one of the most productive paper-producing regions in the country!

That was many, many years ago, however! Sanborn valley’s last tree was felled by mill workers back in 1974 in what many would call one of the greatest travesties committed by man against both the natural world and common sense.

Though the governor at the time tried to save some of the few remaining groves, the mayor at the time also happened to be the owner of the mill, who went on record as laughing at the governor to his face and ashing his cigar on his carpet. Another charming Sanbornian historical figure!

While the trees were gone, the Mill remained. Sanborn Mill was one of many other American companies that took to internationalizing their workforce and outsourcing their product. Local woodcutters were purged from payrolls as Sanborn Mill shifted its wandering eye from the now desiccated local forests to brighter pastures abroad: the Amazon forest in Brazil and the Congo in Africa.

That isn’t to say its entire domestic workforce was eliminated, however! The corporate offices remained, where public relations and marketing departments worked hard to obfuscate the company’s role in deforestation and the in-house legal team swelled in size to fend off the glut of human rights and environmental lawsuits.

That brings us to today, where I discovered upon entering the building that they hadn’t made my desk available yet. In fact, the entire department was completely devoid of office equipment. I was told this was thanks to a corporate memo that had been taken far too literally.

The office needed furniture, quickly. Options were limited thanks to lingering issues caused by the supply chain crisis, but luckily for us, a new company had opened a branch out here in Sanborn: Creative Office Design!

Creative Office Design has been consistently been one of the few companies offering quick ship options for new office cubicles in L.A. since the start of the supply crunch. While most companies have turnaround times of up to half a year, Creative consistently is able to furnish offices within a single month.

The company doesn’t just sell office equipment, however. They provide professional office design services that let companies take full advantage of their space and customize the equipment to match their desired aesthetic.

From cutting-edge engineering firms designing and manufacturing aerospace components to more established firms refurbishing an old paper mill, Creative Office Design has seen and furnished them all. Best of all, you don’t have to wait for months if you find yourself in an urgent situation.

If your company is anything like ours, you’ll find yourself in dire need of new office furnishings sooner rather than later. When that happens, do yourself a favor and call Creative.

Creative Office Design

+17143287627

5230 Pacific Concourse Dr #105, Los Angeles, CA 90045

Categories
Cannabis Security

Sanborn County Alert Level: RED

Welcome back for this special news bulletin, Sanbornians! Summer is here once again, and that means the annual Sanborn crime wave is taking its usual course through the county.

This year is promising to be a record breaker, however! The people of our humble county know that when the rest of the state sneezes, we’re soon to come down with plague. This translates to Sanborn being overrun by rifraff as the state experiences its worst crime wave since the 1990’s.

The worst casualty so far is the newly opened cannabis dispensaries dotting the county. Sanborn was an early adopter of cannabis distribution after the state legalized it, and the industry has been booming ever since.

Since the start of the year, however, dispensaries have been robbed on a nearly weekly basis. One dispensary owned by concerned citizen Jimmy Smokes has experienced three separate, yet identically performed robberies.

The criminals used large trucks to ram the front of his store, breaking the windows, doors, and walls. They would then scamper in, grab the crop and the cash, and then tag the walls with their gang affiliation. Dastardly!

Thankfully, Sanborn has not seen any dispensary robberies resulting in an injury or death, but that isn’t the case everywhere. Dispensaries and growing operations across the state and up the west coast are getting more deadly by the day.

In Washington, budtenders are at particular risk as robberies increase in frequency and severity. One particularly deadly week earlier this year saw three dispensary employees killed by emboldened criminals.

So, what are dispensary owners and employees to do? From all accounts, depending on the police or local governments to crack down on robberies has been a long wait for a train that isn’t coming. Dispensaries all over the west coast have reported that police are unwilling to help and local districts are not interested in punishing crime.

Here in Sanborn, our local district attorney is a well-known wino that is frequently seen napping in the town’s parks. While in previous years that has worked well for local citizens, as the crime wave worsens many are left without legal recourse.

So what are dispensary owners to do? As the state flounders in its response, many have turned to private security firms to provide some protection for their businesses and employees.

This solution comes with its own problems, however. Many security guards are poorly trained and get into the industry thanks to a history of, or penchant for, violence. This can lead to lawsuits and a load of bad press as the guards harass locals or get in unnecessarily violent altercations.

This is why we here at this humble rag recommend you contract out your security system to the professionals. Security consultants can help you plan every aspect of your security system and ensure you work with quality suppliers and well-trained guards.

For businesses that want to improve on their existing security systems, bay area local Cannabis Compliant Security Solutions (C.C.S.S.) provides cannabis dispensary security audits. These audits test each part of the system and verify that it complies with local ordinances and your insurance policies so there’s no chance your claims will be denied over a minor detail.

Crime ebbs and flows over the years, and we’re in the midst of one of the biggest flow periods we’ve seen in 40 years. Make sure your business isn’t swamped by calling the guys over at C.C.S.S. for a security plan and audit.

Cannabis Compliant Security Solutions

925 922 1067

2269 Chestnut Street, #856 San Francisco, CA 94123

Categories
Exterminator

Pests Out of Control In Sanborn

Hello and welcome to another addition to our home county rag, Sanbornians! I come to you today with yet another breaking report!

Yes, it’s that time of the year again – the rats have emerged from their winter hiding holes and descended upon the city in a wave of furry horror. Our phone lines have been ringing off the hook with reports of the rodent menace as they make their annual invasion of the town.

The stories this year are a doozy! We had one report from a citizen who had their dinner. interrupted by a colony breaking through their ceilings and landing smack in the middle of the table, all of them squeaking and writhing.

Another report had one citizen noticing a very awful stench coming from their oven as they were preheating it to cook a roast that day. When they opened the door, they saw that they had roasted something, all right!

Yes, they had roasted a large family of rats. My uncle always said that during the bad ol’ days, you could sprinkle some salt and it would be a pretty good meal, but I don’t think the citizen reporting it found the sight especially appetizing.

I myself have seen the little horde of critters rummaging through some of my favorite dumpsters to dive in, and their inclusion has been very unwelcome. I ended up paying some local children to bash them with the sticks they were playing with and used their little bodies as a warning to stay away from my turf.

Luckily for us, the newest business to have opened up shop in town – Grand Oaks Pest Control – seems to be the perfect fit to alleviate our annual rodent raid. Grand Oaks has already made some fantastic progress in keeping pest populations down in much of northern L.A., so we can only hope that they are as effective here as they are in their home territory.

What makes Grand Oaks Pest Control some of the best pest control experts around isn’t just their efficacy at exterminating pests, though. The guys at Grand Oaks do a thorough job when assessing the kind of damage the pests have done and even offer carpentry services when the critters have made a major mess of things.

Grand Oaks’ customers note that the customer service is second to none, which is definitely a difficult thing to find in the pest control industry. The crew go out of their way to leave job sites cleaner than they found them and keep customers well informed of the extent of their problems, costs, and timelines.

Many of their clients have noted that Grand Oaks provides permanent solutions to problems that previous companies have needed to make monthly visits to fix. In other words, perfect for a town who faces a yearly invasion from an inexhaustible population of rats!

While our problem may be too much for one company to handle, they can certainly alleviate many of yours. If you’re experiencing a pest infestation, give Grand Oaks a call:

Grand Oaks Pest Control

+16265384156

Categories
Insurance

Relay Race

Hello and good morning, Sanbornians! I apologize for the relative lack of reporting lately – there simply isn’t much going on! I know – how rare for our little slice of paradise.

Today is mostly about reporting on wider events that just so happen to be affecting our county as well as the state…the country…heck, even the world! The current supply chain issues aren’t isolated to just the ports and some smaller communities, it seems like even major cities are beginning to feel the pinch, as well!

Sanborn is of course no stranger to supply shortages, with the great famine of 1997 still fresh on many residents’ minds. We lost many good people that year, and the memorial is expected to be finished by 2050!

This shortage is different, however. The supply chain shocks are unprecedented, as far as anyone can tell. The COVID pandemic created a whirlwind of novel pressures on points of the system that had never experienced pressure before.

Port closures in China, factory lockdowns in Vietnam, and wildly shifting changes in consumer behavior appear to be especially large drivers of the current shortages, but here in sunny California, there is an interesting and highly disturbing unique problem we appear to be facing: truck and truck driver shortages.

The shortage of truckers and their vehicles has been a long time coming, with many experts in the industry noting with concern that younger truckers were few and far between and many of those new entrants leaving once the reality of spending the majority of their time on the road settled in. Port truckers, on the other hand, have a better work-life balance, but many find that the extreme wait times to get in and out of the port for loading were significantly affecting their ability to make a living.

A relatively new route for truckers has opened up outside of the typical long-haul and first/last mile shipping routes – the Amazon Relay network. With the aforementioned shift in consumer goods caused by the pandemic, Amazon’s shipping network has increased significantly in size and complexity as they contract out with hundreds of logistics carriers all over the country.

Its thanks to Amazon’s enormous size that it is capable of having its own shipping network, which it depends on to make quick deliveries all over the country as part of its Amazon Prime program, a major selling point for the company. With such a huge presence on the shipping market, they have additional requirements for many of their carriers in order to alleviate the risks involved, including a specific type of insurance.

Amazon Relay insurance includes a number of different policies, including Commercial General Liability, Cargo Liability, Worker’s comp, and employer liability. These policies can run you quite a lot, so its best to get them conglomerated through a single provider.

Luckily for truckers working in our little corner of California, a new business partner has opened up shop here in town – S.W.A.N. Insurance! They specialize in commercial trucking and heavy equipment in general, and have years of experience helping truckers and logistics companies get situated with their insurance requirements to work with the local ports.

Let’s hope this supply shortage doesn’t have quite the same effect the one in 1997 did, though I do think most citizens in our fair county now keep a store of at least a year’s worth of food and fuel after the harsh lessons of that year were learned! Many, many harsh lessons…

If you are interested in helping alleviate the trucker shortage or need insurance to join up with Amazon Relay, call SWAN at:

S.W.A.N. INSURANCE SOLUTIONS

(858) 381-3108

2148 Fourth Ave, San Diego, CA 92101

Categories
Cannabis Security

New Report: Enormous Crime Wave MISSES Select Businesses!

Hello and welcome to the most recent addition of the local Sanborn rag, reporting direct from ground zero of the most recent and destructive crime wave we’ve had in almost a half decade. The streets are choked with smoke, the police have once again joined with the looters and rioters, and the sound of gunshots can be heard on a minute-to-minute basis.

Normal citizens, inured to this by this point, zig-zag across the streets on their way to supermarkets or their places of work. Some take the opportunity to train their children, now old enough to experience their first riots, on the ins and outs of how to survive what has been a Sanborn tradition for nearly 200 years.

Business owners stay home or gather together in front of a television, taking bets on whether or not their shop will be burned down and looted this go-around. Something is a bit different this time, though, as I noticed when making my own circuitous route through the city.

The local dispensary, despite being right in the path of the destructive mob and filled to the gills with product they would no doubt love to loot, was standing tall and firm, with nary a broken window to speak of. This shocked me, as our mobs take quite a bit of pride in being thorough during their revelry, so I decided to do a little bit of digging.

As it turns out, the dispensary had heard of our county’s unique tradition and had taken steps to ensure that they would emerge unscathed. They had contracted out a security firm that had just expanded out of the bay area along with the dispensaries that went by the name of Cannabis Compliant Security Solutions, or CCSS for short.

Due to the new regulations surrounding the legalization of cannabis and the poor state of public order in the bay area, security – a major concern for all businesses, but dispensaries more than others – was a necessary and well-justified concern. A firm that could provide cannabis security solutions that not only conformed to local ordinances but provided an airtight security system that protected customers, employees, and business owners is a hot commodity.

As I have seen, CCSS provides all of that and more. The guards were well trained and new exactly what to do during emergency situations, the shop had plenty of cameras, alarms, and a well-functioning lock-and-key system that prevented unwanted visitors from easily planning a crime on-premises.

It was a strange sight, with downtown turned into a smoldering wreckage and yet a single building standing as if nothing had happened. The smoke and flames seemed to be part of a sick joke that had gotten way too far out of hand when viewed in context.

While many cities lack our customs, many do have issues with crime, both violent and non-violent, that require the use of stringent security systems. If you need a tighter security plan and system, give CCSS a call today.

Cannabis Compliant Security Solutions

+19259221067

Categories
Divorce Mediation

A Boon For Sanborn’s Unhappy Couples

Welcome back, Sanbornians! It has been a long time since our last issue, and boy are we happy to be back!

Speaking of happiness, did you know that Sanborn County ranks among the top in the country for divorce statistics? Yes, in yet another instance of our citizens coming out on a list of dubious distinctions, we rank among the best in terms of both divorce rate and brevity of marriage. Congratulations!

There have been quite a few spectacular divorce meltdowns in our town, with many of the citizens regularly attending divorce court proceedings as a form of entertainment. Some describe these cases as ‘having more fireworks than the annual 4th of July celebrations, except without the resultant forest fires.’ High praise, considering the shows have been considered some of the most reckless and destructive north of the border!

Many such citizens may be disappointed to learn that the younger generations are moving away from messy court proceedings and pursuing other methods of legal separation from their spouses. One of the most common and effective alternatives to have gained popularity in the last few years has been mediation.

Mediation involves an independent third party to work with the couple to divvy up the shared assets and develop a plan for custody arrangements that both can agree to. Unfortunately for Sanbornian couples, they have typically needed to travel quite a distance to make use of these services, though that is set to change soon.

McNamee Mediations, a Newport Beach divorce mediation firm that has acted as one of the most successful in the industry, is opening up a branch office right here in Sanborn, drawn no doubt to our impressive statistics. McNamee has already been helping quite a few of our citizens, and the reviews for the firm could not be more sterling:

As much as I wish I didn’t have to write a review for these services… Colleen has been nothing short of a miracle worker.  I have been going through a painful and messy divorce but I am so thankful for Colleen’s understanding, kind nature and expertise to make a difficult situation at least tolerable.  She is completely fair and I appreciate that she will call me out when I’m being unreasonable and can get me to look at things from another perspective while also feeling like she’s on my side.  I had doubts that we could come to any agreement without having to go through lawyers and an ugly court battle but she was able to do just that.  I highly recommend her services – don’t go anywhere else!

– Christina C., Yelp Review
Read Sharie M.‘s review of McNamee Mediations on Yelp

I called Coleen McNamee because I needed info on mediating my separation/divorce. Sadly during our initial conversation we realized she was unable to help me because of the county my court is in. She doesn’t service that area. She was kind, considerate, understanding and an all around good human! I do wish I could have worked w her because of how knowledgeable and pleasant she was. She answered all my questions even after she knew she wouldn’t be able to get my business!

Even though I couldn’t work w her…I wanted to give a great review because I feel she’d be a great asset if you’re going through a miserable time & need support!

– Cathy R., Yelp Review

If you are a Sanbornian couple looking to add to our statistic – or a couple anywhere that is looking for an effective and less destructive method of ending your marriage, consider calling McNamee. An equitable ending to your relationship is far better for your health and future prospects than an entertaining, yet highly contentious, divorce proceedings.

McNamee Mediations

+19492233836

4590 MacArthur Blvd Suite 500, Newport Beach, CA 92660

Categories
Turf Installation

Good afternoon, Sanbornians! I’m quite happy to report that the dust is finally settling from the crises over the previous few months, and an eerie calm has settled over our fair county.

With the termite menace receding, the citizens of our great county are returning to their houses to survey the damage done and decide how to move forward. The summer months are fast approaching, and many of us are wondering what we can do to prepare our properties to get the most out of this short window of peace and prosperity!

Unfortunately, with the recent chaos, many of us have been forced to neglect our landscaping, and with the unusual rate of growth for much of the plant life in our little piece of California, many are looking at their overgrown lawns with despair. Previously perfectly kept yards are looking like the properties have been abandoned for years and nature has reclaimed them as part of her domain.

After years of nearly daily upkeep for their lawns, many Sanbornians I have talked to on the matter feel that this is the last straw. The struggle between man and grass is just too much for them to continue any longer, and it is time to start looking at alternatives.

One must be careful about which alternative to choose for their natural turf lawns in Sanborn, however. Merely tearing out the grass to replace it with clovers or stones is not enough; somehow, no matter how much soil you remove, native Sanborn flora always finds a way to return, often destroying the new landscaping work you have installed in the process.

No, Sanbornians require a more permanent solution, and that means removing the nature and replacing it with the synthetic. Luckily, Sanborn is home to a field office of NoMow Turf, a city partner known for their high quality fake grass installations in Orange County.

Synthetic turf installation involves destroying the top layers of soil to install a base of stone and sand, meaning any natural plant life is going to have an extremely tough time reclaiming the yard space. With proper drainage control, any remaining soil is deprived almost completely of water, so any plants that manage to get a foothold are incapable of surviving for long.

Utilizing artificial turf gives you all the benefits of a well maintained lawn without the constant battle to either keep it alive or getting a little too lively and takin over the space. Fake grass is a one-and-done deal, meaning you only need to worry about a proper installation.

While it is possible to perform the installation yourself, if you truly want to be certain your yard will remain free of the destructive native flora, it’s always recommended you get the work done by a professional in the field. NoMow Turf have been in the game for decades, and the hundreds of properties they have worked on can attest to their skill and professionalism.

If you’re interested in a permanent solution to the struggles you face with natural turf, give NoMow Turf a call. They will ensure your yard remains perfect without a single bead of sweat required for years to come.

NoMow Turf

+18559688873

26674 Vista Terrace, Lake Forest, CA 92630

Categories
Exterminator

A Growing Problem

Good afternoon and welcome back to the Sanborn County Rag! Well, what’s left of it, anyway!

Since our last update on the termite issue, things have taken a bit of a turn for the worse. We seem to have a bit of a plague on our hands, and the situation is looking a little grim!

Since the old courthouse collapsed, the termite infestations have spread in a concentric circle pattern radiating outward from the ruins. Terrified citizens have been forced to flee as their homes and businesses get gobbled up before their very eyes.

Our very own temporary office in the local YMCA was also unfortunately destroyed. Your humble narrator was barely able to come out with my laptop and some documents before the building was cordoned off by police.

Upon reaching the refugee camp near Lake Sanborn, I took it upon myself to find Groundskeeper Jenkins, whose cryptic warnings in the wake of the courthouse collapse seems all the more prescient now. I managed to find him cooling his heels near the hot dog cart, happily munching away on a corndog.

His healthy pallor returning and the faraway glint in his eyes now gone, it appears whatever hold the courthouse had on him is fading away. When asked about what he meant by his warnings from a few weeks ago, he merely shrugged and said, “I told you so.” He then invited me to sit with him and share in his meal.

To combat this newest disaster impacting Sanborn, the mayor is bringing out the big guns: he has invited one of southern California’s premier exterminators, Grand Oaks Termite Control, to join the fray. The Grand Oaks-based company has been operating for eight years, and in that time has created a loyal customer base and destroyed hundreds of infestations. Here’s just a few testimonials from their client base:

Read John B.‘s review of Grand Oaks Termite Control on Yelp Read Linda W.‘s review of Grand Oaks Termite Control on Yelp Read Kristin M.‘s review of Grand Oaks Termite Control on Yelp

If the company accepts the mayor’s invitation, they will certainly have the job of their life ahead of them. If you believe your home is experiencing its own plague or infestation, give Grand Oaks a call – they’ve got the tools and the experience needed to eradicate your pest problem and prevent future ones from popping up.

Grand Oaks Termite Control

+16265384156

110 S Worthy Dr, Glendora, CA 91741

Categories
Landscaping

Summer In Sanborn

Hello and welcome to the Winter edition of the Sanborn County rag! Well, it’s supposed to be winter, anyway – some real unusual weather patterns have been causing the county to be unseasonably warm after the sudden snowstorm hit us in December.

The warm weather has caused some Sanbornians to venture out and start participating in traditional summer activities, including taking a dip in Lake Sanborn and venturing out into the woods at night! Note: we do not recommend venturing out into the woods at any time, especially at night.

While some are having fun in the sun, others are stuck indoors thanks to a poorly managed yard and patio setup. They listlessly wander around their darkened homes, sunlight blocked by the tall grass and weeds that tend to grow at astounding rates during times of draught and warm weather.

So, for them, we’re going to introduce a company new to our area who is trying to help provide residents with some of the best patio ideas available on the market right now: Torrey Pines Landscaping! Yes, the world-famous landscaping company has finally opened a branch in our neck of the woods, and we couldn’t be happier about it!

Just take a look at some of these testimonials and burn with jealousy that you can’t be among their clientele – not yet, anyway!

Torrey Pines is the 4th company , starting over 10 years ago, we have had for landscapers.  We had two mow & blow companies, and one other professional company but weren’t happy.  TP fantastic.  Our site supervisor is a true horticulture expert, the employees have an educational 1/2 day every other week, we NEVER have to worry about anything and our 1 acre+ of landscaping is a joy and pleasure.  They just did a major needed driveway and retaining wall replacement; they are excellent hardscape contractors as well.  They asked to copy and paste the note I sent them, but it wasn’t sufficient to communicate the quality of their work.

Hi Torrey Pines guys,

Thank you for doing such a wonderful job on our wall, driveway, and landscape.  The replacement landscape is growing in beautifully.  We want to tell you how much we are enjoying how wonderful and professional it all looks.  Special thanks to Mark who suggested we get a bid and consider the project.  Please pass on our thanks to the crew who did such a wonderful job, especially the incredible brick work; a work of art.

Thank you,

Julie and Bob (Google review)

Read Gary E.‘s review of Torrey Pines Landscape Company on Yelp

“We bought a home in the Crosby in Rancho Santa Fe, and it was an ugly mess of landscaping with a design that made the front look short and covered the back golf course view.  It needed a major beautification.

We knew we needed Torrey Pines Landscaping, and their wonderful team lead by the humble Harry Thompson.  Harry has a servant’s heart plus a special talent for landscape design. 

Torrey Pines Landscaping transformed the ugly landscaping to an awarding winning design that ended up on the cover of San Diego Home/Garden. 

If you really appreciate great design, beautiful flowers and nature, and quality work, Torrey Pines Landscaping is the only choice!” (Ryan S., Yelp)

Thanks for coming to our humble county, Torrey Pines! We promise you’ll find your work cut out for you; the grass here has a mind of its own.

Torrey Pines Landscaping Company

+18584541433

5560 Eastgate Mall, San Diego, CA 92121

Categories
Exterminator

Unscheduled Collapse Of Sanborn’s Oldest Building Heralds New Era

Good morning, Sanbornians! And what an eventful morning it’s been!

In the wee hours of the morning, the old Sanborn historical courthouse suddenly collapsed in on itself in a spectacular crash, leaving much of the neighborhoods surrounding it choking in a cloud of asbestos and leaded paint particles. We have not gotten a full count of the casualties of the event, but we’re happy to report that only a single tour group was scheduled to be allowed in during the time to experience one of Sanborn’s most exciting haunted house tours.

The old courthouse, a fixture of the Sanborn landscape for nearly 200 years, had seen a number of uses over the years. First built by the Spanish as a slave auctioneering house, the building has been home to a number of (in)famous local notables. This list includes the administrative center for Sanborn Chemical Manufacturers, who were the party deemed primarily responsible for the Sanborn Creek fire incident of 1913, where the creek was accidentally set on fire by sparks let off by stones some local boys were throwing, leading to the deaths of some 24 people.

In recent years, the old courthouse was used primarily as a museum to Old Sanborn, detailing the long and sordid history of our fair county. It had exhibits dedicated to describing many of the costly and destructive battles and massacres perpetrated here by the native Americans against each other, the Spanish against the natives, and finally the American government against the natives and the Spanish. It even had a whole wing dedicated to the disappearances of the hikers in the woods and hills around Sanborn in recent years, though those were being contested in court by the families.

Upon initial inspection, it was initially thought that there was some sort of arson or purposeful human destruction of the building suspected, as a group of unidentified bodies wearing strange robes was found in a circle in the basement of the building. However, in an interview conducted this morning, Caretaker Jenkins, the crotchety groundskeeper of the courthouse, alleges that he has been warning the local government of a massive termite infestation for years now.

Jenkins, swaying warily in his seat across from me and staring with sunken, unblinking eyes that seemed to glint with the light a faraway candle at all times, appeared convinced that the local government thought he was crazy and was unwilling to undergo even a cursory inspection of the grounds, which he asserts is coated with dead termites and every other kind of pest imaginable. Though he ended the interview with a minutes-long string of uninterrupted laughter and repeated warnings that we have no idea what we’ve unleashed by letting the building go to ruin, I was able to glean that he was recently in contact with a local business that had moved in to the area to get the building checked out: Natural Science Exterminating.

Natural Science Exterminators is a Garden Grove-based company that’s recently taken the opportunity to expand out into our neck of the woods, undoubtedly after hearing about our record-breaking pest populations recently reported in our humble gazette. Family owned and operated for more than 25 years, the pest control company combines modern science with age-old pest prevention techniques that can both destroy current infestations and stop new ones from setting up shop.

Customers of the company note the professionalism and thoroughness of their technicians in many of the glowing online testimonials:

Read Erik W.‘s review of Natural Science Exterminating on Yelp

If you believe your house might be on the precipice of collapse like the old Sanborn courthouse, or even if you’re just worried there might be a bug or two crawling around your walls, give Natural Science a call. It’ll give you peace of mind, and your neighbors will thank you for not coating their lungs with insulation material after the crash.

Natural Science Exterminating

+18002467378

11642 Knott Ave, Garden Grove, CA 92841