Categories
Cannabis Security

New Report: Enormous Crime Wave MISSES Select Businesses!

Hello and welcome to the most recent addition of the local Sanborn rag, reporting direct from ground zero of the most recent and destructive crime wave we’ve had in almost a half decade. The streets are choked with smoke, the police have once again joined with the looters and rioters, and the sound of gunshots can be heard on a minute-to-minute basis.

Normal citizens, inured to this by this point, zig-zag across the streets on their way to supermarkets or their places of work. Some take the opportunity to train their children, now old enough to experience their first riots, on the ins and outs of how to survive what has been a Sanborn tradition for nearly 200 years.

Business owners stay home or gather together in front of a television, taking bets on whether or not their shop will be burned down and looted this go-around. Something is a bit different this time, though, as I noticed when making my own circuitous route through the city.

The local dispensary, despite being right in the path of the destructive mob and filled to the gills with product they would no doubt love to loot, was standing tall and firm, with nary a broken window to speak of. This shocked me, as our mobs take quite a bit of pride in being thorough during their revelry, so I decided to do a little bit of digging.

As it turns out, the dispensary had heard of our county’s unique tradition and had taken steps to ensure that they would emerge unscathed. They had contracted out a security firm that had just expanded out of the bay area along with the dispensaries that went by the name of Cannabis Compliant Security Solutions, or CCSS for short.

Due to the new regulations surrounding the legalization of cannabis and the poor state of public order in the bay area, security – a major concern for all businesses, but dispensaries more than others – was a necessary and well-justified concern. A firm that could provide cannabis security solutions that not only conformed to local ordinances but provided an airtight security system that protected customers, employees, and business owners is a hot commodity.

As I have seen, CCSS provides all of that and more. The guards were well trained and new exactly what to do during emergency situations, the shop had plenty of cameras, alarms, and a well-functioning lock-and-key system that prevented unwanted visitors from easily planning a crime on-premises.

It was a strange sight, with downtown turned into a smoldering wreckage and yet a single building standing as if nothing had happened. The smoke and flames seemed to be part of a sick joke that had gotten way too far out of hand when viewed in context.

While many cities lack our customs, many do have issues with crime, both violent and non-violent, that require the use of stringent security systems. If you need a tighter security plan and system, give CCSS a call today.

Cannabis Compliant Security Solutions

+19259221067

Categories
Divorce Mediation

A Boon For Sanborn’s Unhappy Couples

Welcome back, Sanbornians! It has been a long time since our last issue, and boy are we happy to be back!

Speaking of happiness, did you know that Sanborn County ranks among the top in the country for divorce statistics? Yes, in yet another instance of our citizens coming out on a list of dubious distinctions, we rank among the best in terms of both divorce rate and brevity of marriage. Congratulations!

There have been quite a few spectacular divorce meltdowns in our town, with many of the citizens regularly attending divorce court proceedings as a form of entertainment. Some describe these cases as ‘having more fireworks than the annual 4th of July celebrations, except without the resultant forest fires.’ High praise, considering the shows have been considered some of the most reckless and destructive north of the border!

Many such citizens may be disappointed to learn that the younger generations are moving away from messy court proceedings and pursuing other methods of legal separation from their spouses. One of the most common and effective alternatives to have gained popularity in the last few years has been mediation.

Mediation involves an independent third party to work with the couple to divvy up the shared assets and develop a plan for custody arrangements that both can agree to. Unfortunately for Sanbornian couples, they have typically needed to travel quite a distance to make use of these services, though that is set to change soon.

McNamee Mediations, a Newport Beach divorce mediation firm that has acted as one of the most successful in the industry, is opening up a branch office right here in Sanborn, drawn no doubt to our impressive statistics. McNamee has already been helping quite a few of our citizens, and the reviews for the firm could not be more sterling:

As much as I wish I didn’t have to write a review for these services… Colleen has been nothing short of a miracle worker.  I have been going through a painful and messy divorce but I am so thankful for Colleen’s understanding, kind nature and expertise to make a difficult situation at least tolerable.  She is completely fair and I appreciate that she will call me out when I’m being unreasonable and can get me to look at things from another perspective while also feeling like she’s on my side.  I had doubts that we could come to any agreement without having to go through lawyers and an ugly court battle but she was able to do just that.  I highly recommend her services – don’t go anywhere else!

– Christina C., Yelp Review
Read Sharie M.‘s review of McNamee Mediations on Yelp

I called Coleen McNamee because I needed info on mediating my separation/divorce. Sadly during our initial conversation we realized she was unable to help me because of the county my court is in. She doesn’t service that area. She was kind, considerate, understanding and an all around good human! I do wish I could have worked w her because of how knowledgeable and pleasant she was. She answered all my questions even after she knew she wouldn’t be able to get my business!

Even though I couldn’t work w her…I wanted to give a great review because I feel she’d be a great asset if you’re going through a miserable time & need support!

– Cathy R., Yelp Review

If you are a Sanbornian couple looking to add to our statistic – or a couple anywhere that is looking for an effective and less destructive method of ending your marriage, consider calling McNamee. An equitable ending to your relationship is far better for your health and future prospects than an entertaining, yet highly contentious, divorce proceedings.

McNamee Mediations

+19492233836

4590 MacArthur Blvd Suite 500, Newport Beach, CA 92660

Categories
Turf Installation

Good afternoon, Sanbornians! I’m quite happy to report that the dust is finally settling from the crises over the previous few months, and an eerie calm has settled over our fair county.

With the termite menace receding, the citizens of our great county are returning to their houses to survey the damage done and decide how to move forward. The summer months are fast approaching, and many of us are wondering what we can do to prepare our properties to get the most out of this short window of peace and prosperity!

Unfortunately, with the recent chaos, many of us have been forced to neglect our landscaping, and with the unusual rate of growth for much of the plant life in our little piece of California, many are looking at their overgrown lawns with despair. Previously perfectly kept yards are looking like the properties have been abandoned for years and nature has reclaimed them as part of her domain.

After years of nearly daily upkeep for their lawns, many Sanbornians I have talked to on the matter feel that this is the last straw. The struggle between man and grass is just too much for them to continue any longer, and it is time to start looking at alternatives.

One must be careful about which alternative to choose for their natural turf lawns in Sanborn, however. Merely tearing out the grass to replace it with clovers or stones is not enough; somehow, no matter how much soil you remove, native Sanborn flora always finds a way to return, often destroying the new landscaping work you have installed in the process.

No, Sanbornians require a more permanent solution, and that means removing the nature and replacing it with the synthetic. Luckily, Sanborn is home to a field office of NoMow Turf, a city partner known for their high quality fake grass installations in Orange County.

Synthetic turf installation involves destroying the top layers of soil to install a base of stone and sand, meaning any natural plant life is going to have an extremely tough time reclaiming the yard space. With proper drainage control, any remaining soil is deprived almost completely of water, so any plants that manage to get a foothold are incapable of surviving for long.

Utilizing artificial turf gives you all the benefits of a well maintained lawn without the constant battle to either keep it alive or getting a little too lively and takin over the space. Fake grass is a one-and-done deal, meaning you only need to worry about a proper installation.

While it is possible to perform the installation yourself, if you truly want to be certain your yard will remain free of the destructive native flora, it’s always recommended you get the work done by a professional in the field. NoMow Turf have been in the game for decades, and the hundreds of properties they have worked on can attest to their skill and professionalism.

If you’re interested in a permanent solution to the struggles you face with natural turf, give NoMow Turf a call. They will ensure your yard remains perfect without a single bead of sweat required for years to come.

NoMow Turf

+18559688873

26674 Vista Terrace, Lake Forest, CA 92630

Categories
Exterminator

A Growing Problem

Good afternoon and welcome back to the Sanborn County Rag! Well, what’s left of it, anyway!

Since our last update on the termite issue, things have taken a bit of a turn for the worse. We seem to have a bit of a plague on our hands, and the situation is looking a little grim!

Since the old courthouse collapsed, the termite infestations have spread in a concentric circle pattern radiating outward from the ruins. Terrified citizens have been forced to flee as their homes and businesses get gobbled up before their very eyes.

Our very own temporary office in the local YMCA was also unfortunately destroyed. Your humble narrator was barely able to come out with my laptop and some documents before the building was cordoned off by police.

Upon reaching the refugee camp near Lake Sanborn, I took it upon myself to find Groundskeeper Jenkins, whose cryptic warnings in the wake of the courthouse collapse seems all the more prescient now. I managed to find him cooling his heels near the hot dog cart, happily munching away on a corndog.

His healthy pallor returning and the faraway glint in his eyes now gone, it appears whatever hold the courthouse had on him is fading away. When asked about what he meant by his warnings from a few weeks ago, he merely shrugged and said, “I told you so.” He then invited me to sit with him and share in his meal.

To combat this newest disaster impacting Sanborn, the mayor is bringing out the big guns: he has invited one of southern California’s premier exterminators, Grand Oaks Termite Control, to join the fray. The Grand Oaks-based company has been operating for eight years, and in that time has created a loyal customer base and destroyed hundreds of infestations. Here’s just a few testimonials from their client base:

Read John B.‘s review of Grand Oaks Termite Control on Yelp Read Linda W.‘s review of Grand Oaks Termite Control on Yelp Read Kristin M.‘s review of Grand Oaks Termite Control on Yelp

If the company accepts the mayor’s invitation, they will certainly have the job of their life ahead of them. If you believe your home is experiencing its own plague or infestation, give Grand Oaks a call – they’ve got the tools and the experience needed to eradicate your pest problem and prevent future ones from popping up.

Grand Oaks Termite Control

+16265384156

110 S Worthy Dr, Glendora, CA 91741

Categories
Landscaping

Summer In Sanborn

Hello and welcome to the Winter edition of the Sanborn County rag! Well, it’s supposed to be winter, anyway – some real unusual weather patterns have been causing the county to be unseasonably warm after the sudden snowstorm hit us in December.

The warm weather has caused some Sanbornians to venture out and start participating in traditional summer activities, including taking a dip in Lake Sanborn and venturing out into the woods at night! Note: we do not recommend venturing out into the woods at any time, especially at night.

While some are having fun in the sun, others are stuck indoors thanks to a poorly managed yard and patio setup. They listlessly wander around their darkened homes, sunlight blocked by the tall grass and weeds that tend to grow at astounding rates during times of draught and warm weather.

So, for them, we’re going to introduce a company new to our area who is trying to help provide residents with some of the best patio ideas available on the market right now: Torrey Pines Landscaping! Yes, the world-famous landscaping company has finally opened a branch in our neck of the woods, and we couldn’t be happier about it!

Just take a look at some of these testimonials and burn with jealousy that you can’t be among their clientele – not yet, anyway!

Torrey Pines is the 4th company , starting over 10 years ago, we have had for landscapers.  We had two mow & blow companies, and one other professional company but weren’t happy.  TP fantastic.  Our site supervisor is a true horticulture expert, the employees have an educational 1/2 day every other week, we NEVER have to worry about anything and our 1 acre+ of landscaping is a joy and pleasure.  They just did a major needed driveway and retaining wall replacement; they are excellent hardscape contractors as well.  They asked to copy and paste the note I sent them, but it wasn’t sufficient to communicate the quality of their work.

Hi Torrey Pines guys,

Thank you for doing such a wonderful job on our wall, driveway, and landscape.  The replacement landscape is growing in beautifully.  We want to tell you how much we are enjoying how wonderful and professional it all looks.  Special thanks to Mark who suggested we get a bid and consider the project.  Please pass on our thanks to the crew who did such a wonderful job, especially the incredible brick work; a work of art.

Thank you,

Julie and Bob (Google review)

Read Gary E.‘s review of Torrey Pines Landscape Company on Yelp

“We bought a home in the Crosby in Rancho Santa Fe, and it was an ugly mess of landscaping with a design that made the front look short and covered the back golf course view.  It needed a major beautification.

We knew we needed Torrey Pines Landscaping, and their wonderful team lead by the humble Harry Thompson.  Harry has a servant’s heart plus a special talent for landscape design. 

Torrey Pines Landscaping transformed the ugly landscaping to an awarding winning design that ended up on the cover of San Diego Home/Garden. 

If you really appreciate great design, beautiful flowers and nature, and quality work, Torrey Pines Landscaping is the only choice!” (Ryan S., Yelp)

Thanks for coming to our humble county, Torrey Pines! We promise you’ll find your work cut out for you; the grass here has a mind of its own.

Torrey Pines Landscaping Company

+18584541433

5560 Eastgate Mall, San Diego, CA 92121

Categories
Exterminator

Unscheduled Collapse Of Sanborn’s Oldest Building Heralds New Era

Good morning, Sanbornians! And what an eventful morning it’s been!

In the wee hours of the morning, the old Sanborn historical courthouse suddenly collapsed in on itself in a spectacular crash, leaving much of the neighborhoods surrounding it choking in a cloud of asbestos and leaded paint particles. We have not gotten a full count of the casualties of the event, but we’re happy to report that only a single tour group was scheduled to be allowed in during the time to experience one of Sanborn’s most exciting haunted house tours.

The old courthouse, a fixture of the Sanborn landscape for nearly 200 years, had seen a number of uses over the years. First built by the Spanish as a slave auctioneering house, the building has been home to a number of (in)famous local notables. This list includes the administrative center for Sanborn Chemical Manufacturers, who were the party deemed primarily responsible for the Sanborn Creek fire incident of 1913, where the creek was accidentally set on fire by sparks let off by stones some local boys were throwing, leading to the deaths of some 24 people.

In recent years, the old courthouse was used primarily as a museum to Old Sanborn, detailing the long and sordid history of our fair county. It had exhibits dedicated to describing many of the costly and destructive battles and massacres perpetrated here by the native Americans against each other, the Spanish against the natives, and finally the American government against the natives and the Spanish. It even had a whole wing dedicated to the disappearances of the hikers in the woods and hills around Sanborn in recent years, though those were being contested in court by the families.

Upon initial inspection, it was initially thought that there was some sort of arson or purposeful human destruction of the building suspected, as a group of unidentified bodies wearing strange robes was found in a circle in the basement of the building. However, in an interview conducted this morning, Caretaker Jenkins, the crotchety groundskeeper of the courthouse, alleges that he has been warning the local government of a massive termite infestation for years now.

Jenkins, swaying warily in his seat across from me and staring with sunken, unblinking eyes that seemed to glint with the light a faraway candle at all times, appeared convinced that the local government thought he was crazy and was unwilling to undergo even a cursory inspection of the grounds, which he asserts is coated with dead termites and every other kind of pest imaginable. Though he ended the interview with a minutes-long string of uninterrupted laughter and repeated warnings that we have no idea what we’ve unleashed by letting the building go to ruin, I was able to glean that he was recently in contact with a local business that had moved in to the area to get the building checked out: Natural Science Exterminating.

Natural Science Exterminators is a Garden Grove-based company that’s recently taken the opportunity to expand out into our neck of the woods, undoubtedly after hearing about our record-breaking pest populations recently reported in our humble gazette. Family owned and operated for more than 25 years, the pest control company combines modern science with age-old pest prevention techniques that can both destroy current infestations and stop new ones from setting up shop.

Customers of the company note the professionalism and thoroughness of their technicians in many of the glowing online testimonials:

Read Erik W.‘s review of Natural Science Exterminating on Yelp

If you believe your house might be on the precipice of collapse like the old Sanborn courthouse, or even if you’re just worried there might be a bug or two crawling around your walls, give Natural Science a call. It’ll give you peace of mind, and your neighbors will thank you for not coating their lungs with insulation material after the crash.

Natural Science Exterminating

+18002467378

11642 Knott Ave, Garden Grove, CA 92841

Categories
Insurance

LIVE UPDATE!!: The Fires Of Sanborn Perdition

Hello and welcome to another exciting edition of our small town rag! Today we’re going to be covering the protests happening here in our own humble county of Sanborn!

What’s that you ask? Are these protests related to the ones happening nationwide as we speak?

No, these are some home-grown good old fashioned riots! Our mayor has once again been caught with the crack pipe and ordering his police chief to beat down his dealer for raising the price of goods.

The good citizens of Sanborn immediately organized into two competing camps, one who felt this obvious abuse of power was wrong and should be punished, the other in full support of his stance on the price of crack. Both sides immediately began burning everything that could not be easily looted, including cop cars and food trucks that were not serving what the agitated crowds were in the mood for.

Sanborn’s history is filled to the brim with riots and the use of fire as a political statement, as our towns have been razed to the ground on three separate occasions. One might compare our passionate citizenry to the Alexandrians of antiquity, who were so rambunctious they were considered an essential part of the city’s military capability!

Coincidentally, all three major blazes shared a cause: rampant malfeasance in our local polity’s office. Yes, mayoral corruption is indeed as dear a tradition to our county as rampant mob violence. We love our traditions, here!

This all has come at a very opportune time for the business and real estate owners in our county, as our newest business partner is offering a little protection from the inevitability of entropic violence. No, not the mob – they long gave up on our little corner of paradise.

I am, of course, talking about insurance! Specifically, the Santa Monica State Farm agent that everyone loves, Byron Galindo. He can insure your property, business, and life in the event of sudden and total chaotic violence breaking out, which, let’s face it, is pretty inevitable at this point.

Emotions are still running pretty high despite 5 straight days of pillaging. The competing factions in the town have hunkered down in their respective zones of control, with the Justice crowd singing and dancing in the streets and the Price Gouger group milling about alternating frenetically between destruction and cleaning interspersed with 17 hour naps in their dilapidated abandoned building of choice.

Once night descends, so too do the mobs to the contested zone comprising Main Street, with its beautiful historic buildings frequently falling prey to the unchecked id of the mob. The unknowing job creators are certainly making the janitorial and real estate firms rub their palms with glee, as they’ve been eyeing the location for quite a while for redevelopment. Goodbye beautiful locally owned shops and businesses, hello luxury high rise condos!

Luckily, you may be able to save your livelihood from the liveliness of the mob. Get insurance with Byron – seriously, just get insurance. The cops here have raised up the blue-striped flag and are randomly beating people rather than save the buildings from the rampage, so you’re probably going to need it.

Byron Galindo Insurance

(310) 823-5073

214 Pier Avenue Santa Monica, CA 90405-5423

Categories
Landscaping

Beautifying the Sanborn Landscape!

Good morning, Sanbornians! Your ever-faithful reporter is BACK for another addition of this top selling county rag!

Today, we’re going to be talking about how to make Sanborn a little more beautiful, as many in our county are tired of what’s quickly becoming known as our ‘opioid crisis chic’ county aesthetic. Yes, rampant globalization has had its effects on the citizenry here and effectively destroyed most of our productive capacity, turning a once prosperous part of the country into a de facto shantytown, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have some pride in our appearance!

To these ends, a new company has decided to take our invitation (and substantial tax incentive) and set up shop in our humble little hamlet. That company is the Mission Hills-based Torrey Pines Landscaping Company, one of southern California’s premier landscape design and construction firms!

Just take a look at the Google review from Julie and Bob Engler, who utilized Torrey Pines for their landscaping projects in their La Jolla home:

Torrey Pines is the 4th company , starting over 10 years ago, we have had for landscapers.  We had two mow & blow companies, and one other professional company but weren’t happy.  TP fantastic.  Our site supervisor is a true horticulture expert, the employees have an educational 1/2 day every other week, we NEVER have to worry about anything and our 1 acre+ of landscaping is a joy and pleasure.  They just did a major needed driveway and retaining wall replacement; they are excellent hardscape contractors as well.  They asked to copy and paste the note I sent them, but it wasn’t sufficient to communicate the quality of their work. 

Hi Torrey Pines guys,

                Thank you for doing such a wonderful job on our wall, driveway, and landscape.  The replacement landscape is growing in beautifully.  We want to tell you how much we are enjoying how wonderful and professional it all looks.  Special thanks to Mark who suggested we get a bid and consider the project.  Please pass on our thanks to the crew who did such a wonderful job, especially the incredible brick work; a work of art.

Thank you,

Julie and Bob

If that doesn’t get you excited for a new exterior for your home, I don’t know what will! And to the 35% of Sanbornians who have been made homeless due to successive economic crises caused by repressive governmental policies and destructive trade agreements over the last 30 years, think of all of the gorgeous yards you get to squat in for the foreseeable future!

Many have been both surprised and frightened at the pace of rewilding of Sanborn since these mass evictions as well – the woods seem to overtake entire neighborhoods almost overnight. The more brave Sanbornians who still emerge from their homes at night have also noted that they can almost hear the plants growing, the sound of crackling wood and rustling vegetation growing so loud that they are overcome with a sense of overwhelming dread. To help fight back against the revenge of the forest, new landscapers are the perfect warriors!

If you’re interested in making your neighborhood just a little bit brighter and more beautiful and fighting back against the encroachment of the wood, give Torrey Pines a call. They may be your last chance!

Torrey Pines Landscaping Company

(858) 454-1433

5560 Eastgate Mall, San Diego, CA 92121

Categories
Carpet Cleaning

A Quick Business Review

Hello fellow Sanbornians! How are we all doing during the quarantine?

Seeing as everyone has been locked down in their houses, there doesn’t seem to be much to report on these days! There is the ghastly howling that has been reported to come from the woods at midnight, but that has been happening for months and isn’t exactly what I would call ‘newsworthy’!

So instead I’m going to focus on one of our newest Sanborn county business partners that just so happened to open up shop before the current situation. No, they did not bring the disease with them, but what they did bring was final salvation for our most treasured housing fixture: our carpets!

Introducing Renewed Carpet Care!

The Orange Country-based carpet cleaner business can renew the decrepit shag that our community seems to enjoy so much. Whether covered in mud or dried blood, these guys can get your old ratty rug looking as if it were brand new.

Some of their clients from their Orange County branch have this to say about Renewed Carpet Care and its owner, Stephen Otis, including Lisa B.’s review here from yelp:

“Stephen Otis from Renewed Carpet Care showed up on time, was professional, friendly, courteous, fair priced and worked hard to get out stains as it has been 4 years since our last carpet cleaning. As the stains needed extra work it did not dry in 1-2 hours, but with ceiling fan on the bedroom will be dry to sleep in.

We have two dogs so I was pleased that the cleaning is safe for Family and Pets. Stephen is also certified, licensed and insured and I highly recommend their pet odor deodorizer, it has a clean laundry smell?

According to Stephen, carpets with a family and pets last about 10 years. My carpet is older and it looks like with Stephen’s service we can keep going for more years. Don’t be afraid to ask him to touch up less expensive rugs as he gave us a fair price and they look great! Our sectional couch was also cleaned and if you have dogs that scratch their backs, back and forth, on the skirts you need to call Stephen at Renewed Carpet Care!”

Echoing these sentiments, Jennifer from Yelp details her experience with the cleaners here:

“I reached out to Stephen after we got a door hang tag advertisement.  I was very pleased that he totally honored the price and gave me a reasonable quote on the additional pieces I wanted cleaned.  My family room furniture hasn’t looked this good since I bought it 4 years ago!  He was prompt and completed all 4 pieces in less than 2 hours which included working double-duty on an old stain on one of the couch cushions.  He almost got it completely out too!  I was stunned.  I would not hesitate to use Stephen again and would recommend him to anyone.  You won’t be sorry for doing business with Renewed Carpet Care.”

So Sanbornians, if your shag is looking pretty drab, look no farther than the new county business partner, Renewed Carpet Care! They’ll clean any rug-based mess, NO QUESTIONS ASKED!

Renewed Carpet Care

(949) 434-1151

Categories
Divorce Mediation

Sanborn Op-Ed: Divorce Shmimorse

Welcome once again to our humble county rag!

Today we’ll be featuring an op-ed by a local county man who has been wanting to express the recent successes he’s had with one of our newest local business partners, McNamee Mediations, who has been practicing family law in Irvine and the greater Orange County area for quite a few years. Given the recent spat of divorces and separations due to the rather strange effects of the 5G towers, this man wanted to provide readers with an alternative to the usual path of horrific divorce proceedings.

“Hello. My name is Andrew. I have been a Sanborn resident my entire life. I was raised here by my dear mother, I found a loving wife here, my relationship fell apart here, and now I’ve successfully separated from her here.

It is my opinion that my ex-wife is a terrible person who tricked me for many years in order to get access to the great family wealth my dear mother has always bragged about. Well, unfortunately for her and our relationship, it appears that my dear mother was a huge liar who never had a penny to her name.

My Dear Mother

When my wife discovered this, and discovered that my dear mother was dead and gone for many years without her knowing, she decided that she was going to leave. I did not allow this for a long time, despite her trying to leave on many occasions. Finally, I decided that enough was enough, and I allowed for the proceedings of separation could go through.

Like many of your readers, we have accepted that divorce lawyers are not to used because they will gauge out your eyes and steal your soul. Instead, I decided to use a mediator, so that we could go our separate ways without either of our lives being totally degraded. My ex wife eventually accepted despite initial reservations.

We heard about the recent move of McNamee mediations, who had been practicing family mediation for their Orange County law practice for many years and have helped many people like me and my wife for many years. We called them up and set up an initial meeting right away.

My ex-wife’s room

They were very nice and very friendly. After some coaching, my wife and I were prepared for the usual slippery trickster talk that comes with talking with lawyers, but we received none of it. I was very happy about that, and my wife probably was, too, because she couldn’t stop crying.

It only took a month for the mediation to go through. We really had no belongings to distribute, but McNamee was very helpful in making sure what we had was given out equally. My wife did not ask for much. Once the separation was finalized, she was gone within minutes, taking only a small suitcase.

I am thankful for McNamee, because I have already moved on and have found a new very pretty lady. I am very hopeful for our future together.”

Thank you, Andrew! We’re happy you and your wife were able to find some solace in your separation, and I wish you luck in your new relationship! If you are interested in finding an alternative to a messy divorce, give our new neighbors at McNamee a call; you won’t regret it!

McNamee Mediations

(949) 223-3836

4590 MacArthur Blvd Ste 500 Irvine, CA 92612